FOR THIS WAR I WAS NOT TRAINED

 

For this war
I was not trained.

But who could I blame, but myself?

I knew I was just one of the many books on your shelf.

But I still broke down my walls,

and I gave you my all.

For this war
I was not trained
because my mother did not teach me about heartbreak.
That is not how I was raised
She taught me how to cook and clean
Say thank you and please
Not to speak when a man speaks
And do all the other “female things”

For this war
I was not trained
I did not know my heart was going to break
Not by you,
I wasn’t ready for this heart break,

now whenever I see you,
my heart aches.

It’s so hard for me, when I have to see you everyday.

When I gave you my heart, you thought it was a game to play,

So I started to push you away.

And if I try to explain, you’ll think I’m insane

so, I just try to refrain from this feeling of pain.
But I can’t maintain a feeling long enough to keep me sane,
Because you were my sanity
You were my serenity in this world of inhumanity

But the key word there is “were”
As in now you prefer
Someone who is her
And in your head all our memories are now a blur.
But in my head our memories still seem to occur
And now every time I sleep I stir.

I seem to be running out of places in my head to run to

cause these thoughts seem to break through

For this war
I was not trained

 

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